The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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