My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if only i could text you this smell
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
