she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize