What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He did a backflip because drugs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
