I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's shark week go big or go home
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize