And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
