I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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