I can tuck mytits in my pants
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
