My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
