we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
