I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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