If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
