Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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