just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
