I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
