If i come over, it means nothing
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
