good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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