So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
