We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
