just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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