The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
