omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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