all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
