i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
