Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
