she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we're making bets on your personal life
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
