found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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