first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
