just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
