I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize