she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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