And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
