capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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