I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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