Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
