My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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