So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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