about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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