when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
