I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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