Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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