we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
