i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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