Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
