Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
