Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
