Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Found your dick twin last night
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
