Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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