Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You smell like stripper and shame
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize