finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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