So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
