Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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