Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
