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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

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• (631): View more from New York

  I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny

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• (716): View more from New York

  So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.

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• (559): View more from California

  I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend

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• (207): View more from Maine

  just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life

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