If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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