so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
