Christians are straight up FREAKS
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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