Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
