If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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