i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
