Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just puked most of my soul out..
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